We’ve just about all heard this word co-dependency. However, not a whole lot of people recognize what actually means. What is co-dependency? Well, it’s a sickness that folks get that tends to make these folks dependent on another man or woman in someway. It is an illness that establishes an unhealthy, compulsive love pertaining to another individual that pushes these folks to go out of their way for this other person, hurting themselves during this process, and tends to make these people practically incapable of doing things without having this other person. I would say there are perhaps a lot of partners out there that currently have 1 co-dependent individual in the relationship. And unfortunately, it could be what commonly halts this relationship. Now, precisely how do I understand about co-dependency? Well, I developed a slight case of that myself, and a particular case.
I had been actually mildly co-dependent for my good friend, Alec. This is actually pretty awkward to write about, I mean, it’s another dude who is a friend, and I had become co-dependent for him, nevertheless that’s the simple fact of the particular matter. You see, Alec and I met during high school. We’ve been very best pals for almost ten years. A few years ago, we did everything together, and this felt good to get such a strong, male relationship in my life. You see, my father was never there for me growing up, he didn’t give me the particular closeness which I needed as a child. So when I started to be so close to this kind of friend, a friend who was very much a male leader, a real male support system, i actually clung to him.
II started out not necessarily desiring to actually do things on the days off or together with other buddies except in cases where Alec was going. I would put together a meal for my own family, and then Alec would often come over. I ceased liking to make dinner in cases where I understood this guy wasn’t coming. Alec can be one of those types of fellas who eats kind of bad and then doesn’t always eat whenever he should. So, I started going out of my way to carry food to his place and leave these in the man’s fridge. I was always making the effort to be able to help to make his life less difficult because he meant so much to me, I wished him to be properly taken care of.
The simple fact is, this person wasn’t thoroughly taken care of by his mother growing up. So, this guy was lacking this attention. My mother took great care of me, and as a result I knew how to offer this care to him. Yet, I didn’t have that stable male figure in my own life, that he gave me. So it then developed this kind of vicious cycle of co-dependency. We shortly noticed that what had been going on was peculiar and that was wrong. We had to take the step aside from the friendship because that wasn’t good.
That was a distressing time, nevertheless I have come out of it. I went to this shrink and worked out certain of my own problems. One day when I was with this shrink I asked, “What is co-dependency?” When he discussed it, I recognized that had been the thing that I had been with regard to Alec, and also that I needed to be able to change that. And I have. Alec and I are still very best friends, though because of co-dependency, it had taken a lot of effort to continue being like that.